Maybe I'm spending too much time on twitter, or putting too much faith in Maclean's editor Andrew Coyne but this election has really taken a turn for the crazy these last couple days.
A compilation of every polling company and other election-watch type sites has an overall average of: Cons: 147 Libs: 68 NDP: 55!!!!!! Bloc: 36 Greens: 0 (or maybe one) I'm not overly experienced at following elections, but this NDP surge seems to be outstripping the orange surge of the last election and may even be coming at a later point in the campaign. The has - seemingly for the first time ever - got people taking a second look at what exactly the NDP is promising. We may find ourselves looking down the barrel of a bizarre coalition by early next week. Harper has stated that if he doesn't get a majority he will not attempt to govern. Hopefully if that happens people will realize that a coalition is not the end of the world. One question remains: If the Liberals, NDP, and Bloc do team up are they all going to live at 24 Sussex drive?
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I think I'm on to something here, my brain is only working at about 28% of its capacity right now, but I might have some new ideas later in the summer. Maybe a female version? Maybe some suggested cures for when an ego-trip has gone on long enough?
Due to work these posts may get spotty and erotic over the next few months, but I'll try to put something up when I can. I pulled the car on over to give you a ride there’s nothing uglier than a man hittin’ his stride - “Vapour Trails” The Tragically Hip Everyone has this moment in their life - when their self proclaimed greatness reaches its peak. When the combination of knowledge and confidence ring like a tuning fork. This is not to say that this is the highlight of your life (though for some it probably is). For me it all happened in 2007. Early in the year I was living in Vancouver taking three entry level university courses - the right amount of education. I went back to my summer job early, no longer “the rookie.” Early in the fire season I missed my sister’s grad ceremony to go to Quebec for work. How exotic. I pictured people talking about me during my own sister’s graduation. At the time these were satisfying thoughts. It was a small dose of attending your own funeral. While at work I was acquiring social capital. Things I said were funny, and they were funny because I had no idea at whose expense they were funny. We would take a long break and talk about how to best turn your text conversation into a date (sex). Texting was the new frontier when it came to getting laid. I vowed to learn how to use T9 after these Bush Summits. Later in the year I was involved in the only bar fight of my life, granted my only role was to drive the getaway vehicle it still felt pretty cool. I was chewing tobacco and cutting down trees. I was destroying nature and I was spitting on it afterwards. I was learning to ride a motorbike, with no helmet and sandals, cruising the back alleys, I was eating ice cream for breakfast, and running in my skateboard shoes. Things I did were the right mix of brilliant and stupid. Though it is still my recent past I have ascertained some of the elements that can get your ego simmering. There are certain things that you have to be aware of, and certain things you shouldn’t be aware of. For a heterosexual guy, here are some must haves: - your sexuality, you should be able to identify (within reason) how sexually attractive you are to others. From here you can use this trait to your advantage, you can get maximum value on any potential women that come into your life. You should have a good idea of who is in your league, and then shoot for the premier players. - you should have recently started making more money than you did previously. So if you used to work construction for 15 dollars an hour, and suddenly you are making 30 dollars an hour out in the oil patch, your ego stock should boost accordingly - subtract 10 points if you are in an oil camp, add 5 points if the oil camp has a 7-11. - your own vehicle, it doesn’t matter how shitty, in fact sometimes it’s better to have a P.O.S. It will make you appear either a) ironic or b) self-confident. - threats of greatness. If the person in question is constantly thinking up ideas centered on themselves and doing something they think is cool or dangerous (I should totally go down to the PETA protest in a fur coat!) the person you are talking to is definitely somewhere near peak ego stage. - you have been hanging out with people many years older than you. - knowledge, we live in a world where so much is available with such ease that a little ignorance every now and again is useful. Your enemy is political correctness in this field. The minute you stop calling things “gay” because you’ve realized that it isn’t a synonym for bad your ego has suffered a loss (see Bryant, Kobe). - your haircut is awesome, at least it is in your own mind. For men this can mean facial, head, and even chest. A first time ‘fro, a dare to do a mullet, or perhaps even gaining control of your style from your parents. Dressing yourself is one thing, but finding the cut that works for you supercharges your ego. There are other potential factors that may be missing from the list. I will be heading back to man-land pretty soon and from there I will be better equipped to analyze the ego from close range, until then I hope this helps, tread lightly around these egos, heap praise, and believe the threats, we all know how great it is to be there. Here is something I saw today about Canadians wanting people to "get out the vote." This video is a misguided re-imagining of the star powered tv ads from the U.S. election a couple years ago.
If I had watched this video with no sound the costumes would be a dead giveaway as to what group these guys were going for. The ironic pop culture references, beardy-glasses hipster, and gratuitous useless dog were an explanatory wonder to behold. However instead of giving us the credit of understanding what their not-so-secret agenda would be they profanely insist which side we must take. If we're trying to encourage Canadians to vote, shouldn't we be trying to encourage all Canadians to vote? This ad scrambles the message, it is trying to attach itself to the great idea of people getting out and participating in democracy, with the added tag that if you do vote, you can't vote for whoever you like. For a movement that I can only assume is against the fear mongering ways of our dystopian devil-man Harper they certainly appear to be using these exact same tactics in order to get me to vote against the conservatives. General participation and the party you vote for are two separate issues, don't try to weld them together. A few people have asked me which school I like better, UBC or Memorial. My response is usually something like this: "I don't know, it's hard to say because I was only at UBC for one term, there were things I liked, the infrastructure at UBC is obviously better, and the climate makes a better first impression. But there are things I like more about MUN, the pace isn't as crazy, and the campus in St. John's is not set apart from the city and financially inaccessible to many as it is in Vancouver." That is at least what my eloquent minds-eye self would say, in reality I would probably say "fuck" a few times while still getting that general message across. But deep down there was always so much more that I wanted to say about the things I didn't like about UBC, I dislike being negative, but here it is. I didn't like that kids drove 60 000 dollar sports cars, or that student elections actually involved professional photo shoots and expensive suits. The incessant school spirit is nice when you're 19, but when you're even just a few years older it starts to look like fanatics out for blood. Yes diversity is good, but when I come out of class to see 30 white kids in yellow VOLUNTEER shirts alternatively dancing and sitting in some kind of (what I can only assume to be) African drum circle and who are (ostensibly) off to save Africa, for some reason, I am upset. I also don't like that in order to get a slice of pizza at the student union building I first have to run a gauntlet of Christians, anti-abortionists, gay rights advocates, the sustainability club, pro-abortionists, and some kind of foreign exchange student break dance society. All of that to get a factory meat and cruelty cheese slice of pizza. For months I didn't really know how to express these feelings and then suddenly, out of nowhere, every single person and idea that I find invasive and bothersome at UBC did exactly what I needed them to do in order to get their (and my) point across. They created something called a "lip dub" video. It is in response to a video made at Uvic, who apparently did theirs in response to a school in Spain that is also called Uvic. At the same time it is not in response to anything, it is just some students getting out and having a good time. I don't mean to come down on the whole idea, but if you really want to know which school is better you should watch this video and keep this in mind: From the existence of a city bus to the presence of an expensive sports car, from the ice free pond to the helicopter shot, this sort of thing could not exist at Memorial University of Newfoundland, and that is exactly why I love it out there. This stuff is probably boring to most, maybe Canadian politics will one day be as fringe as some Sci Fi convention, but I can't help it, write what you know (sort of).
Stephen Harper - Conservative The budget that fell the government was called "A Low Tax Plan For Job Growth." This is not the budget title equivalent of "The Sound and The Fury." It was all about tax credits, good lord does this government ever love tax credits. We should see a tax credits on your tax credits strategy rolling out pretty quick here. For many of us (one of us) under 30 it’s hard to understand what this stone tablet of tory policy means. Tax credits can be compared to prizes in breakfast cereal. When General Mills offers a prize you either find them in the cereal box or you have to mail away for them. Tax credits are mail away prizes, which means they are unexciting and possibly nonexistent. Sure the prize that you get in the box isn’t as great as the Mail Order Promise, but instant gratification trumps long term benefits every time. On a different note, the budget is certainly within the scope of the values of the Conservative Party, lots of help for small business and an alarming amount of education initiatives that aim at partnering the private sector with “digital economy” areas of schools. Unfortunately writing poetry has no impact on innovation in the digital economy and the arts are being brushed off. Campaigning across the country Stephen Harper seems to be doing alright, there’s been that business with the press having to ask him questions from a certain distance - usually somewhere in North Dakota - and his fear mongering over a coalition government are beyond exhausted. He recently played piano with that little girl from Winnipeg that sang with Lady Madonna. While singing the lyrics of "Imagine", “and no religion too” Harper stops and says, “that one will get me in trouble.” Rare warmth from a chilly leader. Michael Ignatieff - Liberal First of all who is that guy with the turban that is never more than 6 inches away from him? Is he a bodyguard or an MP? He looks tired. I want to know more. Ignatieff has sparkle in this campaign, and by sparkle I mean he might be alive. We’re tired of elections, we’ve been unsure about Iggy. He’s rising to the occasion - and to prove he has middle class cred, he’s been eating hot dogs. This morning he announced a five-point plan for families in Canada, a main platform for the campaign. It’s not very different from the Conservative’s but it does involve considerably more for post-secondary education. Ignatieff compared his plan to something like a value pack at the supermarket, the most bang for your buck. Ignatieff does not spend a lot of time at The Real Canadian Superstore and he was visibly at pains trying to articulate this comparison properly. In fact, many of the clips I've seen of Iggy find him doing his best to dumb down a vocabulary that likely has more depth than the Boston Celtics. Another example are those threatening debate tweets to Harper and Rick Mercer, "bring it on" “any time any place” Perhaps he’s hired somebody from the UFC to improve public relations. Either way, it's refreshing to see that when he speaks, he appears to be speaking from the heart. The liberals may not make too many seat gains this time around, but Ignatieff might finally win over his own party. Jack Layton - NDP He had cancer and hip surgery in the span of about three weeks, and then he hit the campaign trail on crutches (I believe he has graduated to a cane now). Jack Layton must be giving it his best, but his party might be the cinderella candidate for being most in need of a new leader. Layton is tired. It’s showing. It’s easy to have this kind of a momentum shift skewed by the press and the accelerated horse race politics of the day. But honestly, limited appearances and questions from the press about turnout to rallies must be hard on him. The NDP need a rebirth as bad if not worse than any of the other parties. On top of that the Harper v. Ignatieff one on one debate talk has not helped his cause. Going after Quebec with a little more gumption was a wise move, plus I give Jack Layton points for best style, those hats are fantastic. Elizabeth May - Green Party The Greens may be able to win a seat, but they need help. My suggestion is this: Last week there was a survey done that revealed the best type of female role models are attractive and violent (read: not Elizabeth May). I think to gain more votes the Green Party needs to run a campaign of mildly attractive people that occasionally do something abrupt and violent. They also need to shed some of that green image that sticks to their organization. If anyone in the northwest has not yet looked at the green candidate for our riding, it's worth checking. You will no longer question why voting for this party can be troubling. Roger Benham is standing in some kind of garden looking away from the camera and wearing mediveal garb. He looks like a jester, or a minstrel, or some other 15th century occupation of marginal integrity. This is the profile picture equivalent of a tory candidate blasting oil at a duck pond. I don’t mean for this to be an attack on his person, it's just a question of the tactics used by this party and their candidates. A suit doesn’t make you a sell out, it’s using the right tool for the job. In four weeks we'll have a new government, it would be nice to see these politicians talk about something real and put down the mud for the next little while. It would be good for democracy. As citizens we have a part to play too, and that part is showing that we're smarter than the cheapshot rhetoric we've collectively allowed as of late. |
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